Recently, I've come to the realization I'm pretty much unflappable. Not a fucking flap to be found.
This little tale will detail the increasing issue of road rage in the White Plains area. This is the second event of this kind that I've born witness to, and of course, there's not a cop to be found.
This incident happened in downtown White Plains between the intersection of Main/Mamaroneck and Church Street, an adjacent side street.
So yesterday I found myself at an intersection.
Middle lane of three. Left lane would have been optimal, as I was going
to make a right then a quick left onto the side street. At the light, I
put my blinker on, and as soon as it turned green, I gunned the motor, as the car to my left was lagging a smidge.
my attempt to get over to the left lane, that driver finally woke up or
dislodged his thumb from his rectum and decided he, too, was going to
gun it into my blind spot, attempting to bully his way, and afford me
zero courtesy to make my left.
Quickly as this is all unfolding,
as I approach the side street, it APPEARS as if I can make a left in
that lane, too. And I continue with my plan. Meanwhile he's in my
blind spot, making his left, only once on the side street, there are cars
parked on the street in metered spots, so he quickly made that left,
only for it to fuck him up that I made mine.
I come to the
traffic light which is red, but my mistake was I did not pull all the
way up to the stop line. Sir Asshole sidles up next to me and motions to
me to roll my window down. I shake my head no. He's aghast. And angry. Obviously I'm impeding his ability to tell me off.
roll my window down and say, "I had my blinker on, and thought both
lanes were left turn lanes." Of course, he launches into his tirade, and
I promptly roll up my window.
Of course, he will not abide this
aggression! Oh no! He has to nudge his car up and askew, and PARKS HIS
CAR IN MY LANE THUS IMPEDING TRAFFIC, all to come over to my driver's
window, which is rolled up and the car locked down tighter than a duck's
ass, all to berate me and my driving.
Me and my bitchy resting face are in full effect, full on cool as a cuke mode. Honestly, I don't know how! IS THIS WHAT BEING A GROWN UP IS?
I mean, I could totally predict all the events happening. I could see it happening in my head, and VOILA! HAPPENING!
again, cool as a cuke, I roll my window down about 2 inches, and say
loud enough for him to hear, "Yes, yes, and arguing about this is ACCOMPLISHING SO MUCH!" and I promptly roll the window up.
He blurts out an impotent,"Bitch!" And I smile, and nod in agreement!
was so awesome, but I think I'm going to investigate carrying mace,
because "what if" he actually broke my window and tried to assault me,
or somehow gained access to my car and tried to assault me?