Tuesday, March 24, 2015

On Whistleblowers

During yet another discussion with the bossman, this time on corruption or conflict, I made the analogy that it's like "he who smelt it, dealt it." Typically, the whistle blower usually is immediately suspected of the very thing they're reporting/complaining about.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Four Letter Word, Starting With C and Ending With T

9:30 a.m.: Arrive to the office.

9:35 a.m.: Get call from Bossman #1 that there's something super urgent I need to work on with him. We work on it all day. HUGE PITA.

3:25 p.m.: Give the document to our director (in the presence of Bossman #1). Director says, "It's perfect, please email it to me. Thanks." I left her office in such a hurry (as I thought expedience in getting this emailed to her was more important than curtseying and kissing the ring with a "You're welcome" in reply to her thank you). As I exited, I was about 2-3 feet from her office, when I heard her passively-aggressively snarl out, "YOU'RE WELCOME."

3:30 p.m.: I inform bossman of two things: "Did I hear her passively-aggressively blurt out "You're Welcome to me? (He replied, "You heard THAT?") I replied, "I hear EVERYTHING," and then I blurted out "HEY. I AM HUNGRY." And he says, "Go for your lunch!" (FINALLY)

4:15 p.m.: He walks into the breakroom in the dungeon, interrupting my Fortress of Solitude, and I launched into "Gee, it's nice to know that the fact I delayed my lunch by three and a half hours was greatly appreciated by her." And I brought up the "You're welcome" (and in my mind, if you're playing along at home, the voice in my head sounds like Large Marge from PeeWee's Big Adventure). 

I said, "Yanno, a four letter word, starting with C and ending with T really applies here." And he said, "Nope. Nope. I don't want to hear that word!" And I said, "I'm far too clever for you. The word that applies here is CURT." (He agreed.) He then replied, "Hey, she told you the document was PERFECT! I've never heard that I did anything perfectly!" My reply back to him was, "Well she fucked up the slap and tickle! Slap and tickle, you start with the negative, and conclude with something positive. She fucked up the compliment by being curt." The final exchange here was his reply to that, "Well, at least "I" appreciate you!" And I said, "And to that, I say, thank you Good Sir! Right back atcha!"

Friday, October 24, 2014

We Don't Need No Hippocratic Oath

Definition of Hubris + Stupidity + Cognitive Dissonance:

Caring more about Ebola victims in Africa than your neighbors/cab drivers/fellow subway riders, etc here in NY. Let's travel halfway around the world to help treat Ebola victims, yet potentially expose your neighbors to the very same disease.

You, sir, are a Raging, Red Hot, Grade A Douche Canoe.
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/24/nyregion/craig-spencer-is-tested-for-ebola-virus-at-bellevue-hospital-in-new-york-city.html?_r=0 ‪#‎WeDontNeedNoHippocraticOath‬

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Some Day My (Yoruban) Prince Will Come

I'm envisioning a Yoruban prince inside wanting to scam me for my life's savings 
all for a ten block fare.

Related note: 
Aren't those Nigerian Prince money scams kinda like Wimpy (of Popeye) saying, 
"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today?" 

Friday, October 3, 2014

What's In a Name?

My middle initial is "D."

It's not a stretch to say it stands for: Disagreeable, displeased, disgusted, discouraged, and disturbed.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Douchebaggery Du Jour

Snapped this a.m. in the parking garage. This asshole sat in his vehicle with his door ajar, talking loudly on his phone, totally preventing me from exiting my vehicle.