(This nugget is from October 2009.)
Public Service for the Gentlemen following my updates: If your wife
is considering bariatric surgery, and if you have a convo re: football
players being “massive and aggressive,” DO NOT tell your wife you think
she is massive. You will not get your “ticket punched for a trip thru
Tuna Town” for a long, long time. Ask me how I know this. I dare you.