Friday, January 11, 2013

Shit I've Said To One of My Parents

(To my mother.)

"While sis is manually disimpacting your bowels is perhaps NOT the best time to inform her of how very unspecial she is."

Context: Mom felt compelled at that point in time to expound on how she has a distinctly different relationship with all three of us kids. "I" apparently am the "friend," my brother is the "baby," and my sister, well, "I just love you because you're my daughter."  Yeah, just what every person with a fistful of someone ELSE'S feces just needs to know at that precise moment. 

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What sayeth thou? (Mean people suck, don't fuck it up.)

"I hate people."
"People" stop being "people" when they become friends.
Friends stop being friends when they become assholes.
So to refine my hatred, I hate people and I hate assholes.