You might be an asshole if...
While accusing someone ELSE of being an "asshole" about food (then back pedal and call them a snob) you are eating at a banal greasy spoon known for its burgers and soup (a place so chosen because you have boring, provincial taste in food).
Furthermore, if enjoying TASTY food makes me an asshole, it makes me wonder WTF YOU dine on regularly? Sawdust and Kindergarten paste?
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What sayeth thou? (Mean people suck, don't fuck it up.)
"I hate people."
"People" stop being "people" when they become friends.
Friends stop being friends when they become assholes.
So to refine my hatred, I hate people and I hate assholes.