Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Myriad of Ways My Neighbors Suck, Halloween 2007 Version

Originally posted Halloween, 2007.

Considering the recent “Spliffing” behind my building, and the “Spooging” in front of my building (as evidenced by the Coney Island Whitefish who has been dying an incredibly slow death a scant three feet from my front door);

And considering that last year I had some buck-toothed condo management hag appear at my door, on a particularly hot and sunny day when I was hanging my kurtas up for no more than a half hour, and audaciously attempted to gain access to my condo to “assist” me to take down the “offending” garments, as they were some type of “quality of life” infraction here at the condo;

I think this year I will opt out of this nonsense and simply be “unavailable” to attend to the annual begging forth of high fructose corn syrup products–my ego screams it, and simply put, my wallet thinks it’s the right thing to do (and the tasty way to do it!–damn you Wilfred!)

So Halloween morn’, I shall put my now-thriving yucca inside, as well as all my shoes. And after work, the Maharajah and I will go to dinner and the movies, and avoid the whole parade of beggars. I think this might be the beginnings of a lovely tradition.

Eat my corn, crotchlings!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The Myriad of Ways My Neighbors Suck: Coney Island Whitefish Edition

Hmmm, methinks a bit o’the bearded clam was used as bait…
 Example, as it was found, ironic enough,in the “bush” in the entryway to my condo.
If you notice, this “Coney Island Whitefish” was caught
“just after a feeding frenzy,” as evidenced by its
belly full of “chowder.”
I call this "Mitochondrial Still Life."